Jamie,
I don't think there is any problem with epoxy, as I recall I was having that internal conversation, nuking it out to the nth degree...A fairly heated discussion, till I finally said " just glue the gosh darn thing" or words to that effect...I think at the time I was thinking about the stopper going in and out of the fridgidaire, warm to cold, cold to warm, condensate, wood movement, metal movement, moisture movement etc etc etc...
Been glueing with Dap 100% silicone (aquarium safe, just because) for years with no issues, but, I'm open to the pros and cons discussion also.
As far as soft woods, Ruth says to use a 21/64th, I use a 9mm cause thats what I have, its about 1/32ond bigger, I don't tap soft wood, just screw it onto the mandrill and turn. Harder woods I tap.
As far as wonky wood in the chuck, I go for it, if I cannot get a hold that I'm comfortable with, I'll turn it between centers till I am. whether that's just round, or all the way to a tendon. I turned some branch wood bottle stoppers that I wanted to leave the bark on, so I started between centers, turned a 3/4 inch tenon and gripped that in the chuck where the woodworm screw goes, then drilled, tapped etc, worked like a champ.
cc